Changing times. I like change. October the leaves change color. I love this time of year. Some people don't like change. It's not that I am bored that I like change, but something happens to cause me to change. Or things around me to change. I don't fight it, I just go with the changing tide and the changing seasons.
I used to like to change my furniture around in my house, Or pictures on the wall, or change my curtains. It made me feel like I was in a new house. But these days I like things like they are now. I am content with things.
I have always been happy to try something new, like new recipes, new hair styles, make new friends, new style of clothes. Sure didn't want to look like all the rest of the girls or women. I have always wanted to be different.
So something is about to change. I have felt it for quite awhile. It started to change last week. Last week I struggled through frustration, and was overwhelmed, and tired out. I had worked on writing a great story for the paper for days and days. I was obsessed with finishing it. It was good, I thought, I was in the process of e-mailing it to the people who the story was about, for them to check over for any mistakes. I opened the document and read it over again, and decided to change the title a little bit. I did that and hit enter and the text disappeared. My story was lost.
I tried to find it for a couple of days talking to experts on the phone and chatting with people of websites. They told me to do this and that. I did all they said but never found the story. It had been auto-saved in Word, but it was blank, no text.
Then I called Kristen at the newspaper office, she is an expert on computer technology, she uses a Mac too, like mine. She offered to come to my house to help. She did this week, worked long time. She called a friend named Brian who is an awesome "techie" or "geek". And he knows Macs for sure. Would you believe my story is gone? He couldn't find it either.
So, that is when I finally decided to change my life. Well, I had been thinking about it for several months. I have written my column "Rainy Days and Starry Nights" for a newspaper for 15 years. That is a lot of columns and stories. Hundreds maybe. I am still going to write: my blogs, my stories, on Facebook, my family history, and occasionally send them to be published, like to the Wilson County News but not on a regular basis.
I feel so much better, because I have no pressure to write. I have resolved my self to the fact that the story is gone. But it is like a piece of myself is gone. The yearn to write is still there, I wake up in the middle of the night and think of something I want to write about. I start to formulate the story in my mind.
So I wonder where this road will take me. I feel peaceful and content. But I will be meandering down the road, not driving, just walking, even the slow lane drivers will pass me by.